A few days ago over dinner, a friend and I were talking about what our children were doing and the possible ways their future may play out. When I shared some of the considerations in my mind and the possibilities I saw for my boys, she smiled and said – ‘Remember, it’s their journey.’
It is so true, sometimes when we come from a space of love and care, we tend to start telling people what they should do. We forget that when people close to us need our advice they will come to us. We don’t need to overthink, over-plan, and without realising become overbearing in their lives.
People enjoy making decisions – building their self-confidence when things go well, and learning from their mistakes when things don’t. Life is not about living in a protected cocoon for fear of making the wrong choice. It is about breaking free and developing wings.
Sometimes we may not fully understand the choices people close to us make. More important than constantly correcting or cautioning them, is respecting the fact that it is a choice they have made. Even when we know better, we are better off allowing them their experience, and always being there to hold them if they stumble.
Preferences create differences. People close to us will often choose to do things differently than we would have, and that sometimes bothers us. It is desirable to focus on the relationship rather than the difference in our approach and thinking.
If we reflect on our own life, we will realise that the times we really grew were times we were allowed to tread our own path. It doesn’t mean we don’t share our thoughts or don’t ask the right questions to help others make better decisions. Sometimes it is important for them to have their own experiences in order to arrive at the same conclusion we may be suggesting.
Our life is not just what we desire for ourselves, but also walking alongside others. And we will only be able to happily accompany them for years together if we remember and respect a simple fact – ‘It is their journey.’
(Picture – Bang Pu golf course, Bangkok )
Just what I needed to hear. Can’t help but worry about the kids. It’s tough to let go although you know it’s the right thing