Often we are conflicted between wanting to be supportive of someone we care for and finding ourselves disagreeing with their perspective and position on the issue at hand. We feel that if we support them, then we are compromising our individuality, and if we assert our thinking, then we risk straining the relationship. Even as we think we have overcome a situation, this dilemma presents itself regularly.

Our challenge probably starts with the fact that we look at the situation as binary – either we agree and be supportive or we disagree and therefore cannot be supportive. But if we reflect on this, there may well be a third way – we could find it in ourselves to be supportive even when we disagree.

There are times someone wants to tread a path that we may not necessarily agree with but is important to the other person. We need to pause and ask ourselves a simple question – what is more important, holding on to our way of looking at it, or is the person more important?

Sometimes people need our unconditional support and understanding because they may not be able to express the deep conviction they feel, and even if we were right, they need to know that we cared enough to be supportive. When we put the relationship above our ego, we will find it in ourselves to be supportive even when we disagree.

People change with time, and often we respond with our past impressions, not giving them enough credit for the way they presently are. When we start trusting them rather than trusting our doubts, we learn how to be supportive even when we disagree.

Sometimes it is not a question of right or wrong but just a different preference. We must keep in mind that preferences create differences. If we view a different preference as a problem, we start creating barriers in a relationship. But when we rise above our fixed mindset and give respect to others wanting to live their life with preferences different than ours, we become supportive even when we think otherwise.

Of course, there are times we need to stand by certain principles and be assertive. But we need to be mindful that even as we distance ourselves from a decision, we don’t distance ourselves from the person. We may walk away from the issue but yet walk alongside someone to hold them if they stumble or even fall.

When we see the best of friends having arguments and disagreements, what we actually see is the best form of a relationship. We see their inner security allowing them to be the individuals that they are, and at the same time, we see the love that holds the relationship together no matter what. They have learned the simple principle of life – the strongest relationships are built when we learn to be supportive even when we disagree.

(Picture – Lake Como, Italy )