One of the most difficult feelings is knowing that someone needs our help, we are in a position to help them, and yet they are unwilling to listen. At some point, our care turns to anger because we are making no headway. Much as this is true, we need to reflect on why we are unable to get through.

Some people are very private about their affairs and unwilling to share their worries and vulnerabilities. They often build invisible walls that we find very difficult to penetrate. We will only get an opening when they decide to come out of their shell and reach out.

Sometimes ego and stubbornness get the better of someone. They often live with ‘I know best’, unable to see something so clear to us. It is only after a few hard knocks in life that they become open to listening, still protecting their ego, but slowly accepting what we have been recommending.

Often, people don’t even recognise that they need help. Living in denial or going down a repeated habit that we can see will end badly, they feel their way of doing things is the right way. Creatures of habit and conditioning, change is difficult until they face difficult situations and realise that they need to be open to change.

Does this mean after trying, we should give up and become uncaring, saying there is nothing more I can do? Helplessness needs to give way to clear-headed compassion. If we put ourselves ahead of the other person, silently, it is our ego driving us. We need to be patient, watch from a distance and be there when they reach out. And when they do, nothing hurts them more than hearing ‘I told you.’

As we reflect on the people we are unable to get through to, we also need to ask ourselves the important question – ‘How open are we to taking help?’ Are we also being closed, stubborn, egoistic, and living in denial?

When our heart reaches out, but our head is unable to get through to someone for their own good, we need to drop our frustration and remind ourselves of a simple yet fundamental aspect of life: we can only help those who are open to taking our help.

(Pic-Rhine river, Germany)