One of the things that enriches our lives and yet comes with its share of uncertainty is managing relationships. Some relationships seem effortless, and some we often struggle with. It is not that we don’t want to, but sometimes we don’t know how to manage them better. It will serve us well to reflect on the relationships that need attention, recognise what is bothering us, and understand the A-R-T of managing relationships.
Acceptance is key. When someone has a divergent point of view or a different way of doing things, we often try to change them rather than accepting them for who they are. It is our ego, not love, that enters the relationship, often straining it. Preferences create differences, but should not create distances. Acceptance comes from understanding that a rainbow is beautiful because of the different colours, and when we embrace rather than wanting to change them, it is these different people that enrich our life.
Respect for someone is beyond being civil and polite. It comes from recognising their authenticity, courage, conviction, and commitment. It comes from encouraging rather than comparing, finding fault or pointing out where they are lacking. Of course we need to give honest feedback, but equally be mindful that we need to be fully respectful of someone living their life the way they want their journey to be, not the way we think it should be. Sometimes, all someone may be looking for is not agreement but respect for their thoughts and feelings.
Trust forms the bedrock of any relationship, but goes beyond honesty. Giving trust is giving someone the feeling that despite everything, we will find the love to walk alongside them in their journey. It is someone knowing that no matter what, you have nothing but their best interest at all times. It is being there, not when it is convenient, but when they need you the most.
There is no point in winning an argument and losing a relationship. There is no point in holding back to take the first step to fix things. There is no point in letting our hurt, anger, and ego get in the way of reaching out. Relationships are precious; we need to nurture and nourish them. Love will flow when we manage our relationships with Acceptance, Respect, and Trust.
(Picture – Colva beach, Goa)
Very well articulated. One needs to read this again and again, from time to time, to remind ourselves as to how to maintain relationships.