Love can be one of the most uplifting feelings that we experience. We operate from a plane of consciousness that gives us joy and clarity, and we just know it to be the essence of life. Yet, we find ourselves lacking love when things are not going right. Even though we have experienced love, have we truly understood the nature of our love?

We can express our love in two ways; our love can depend on the way the other person is, or our love can depend on the way we are. Knowing this and deciding the way we want to be can significantly change our life experience and our relationships.

It is easy to be loving when things are going well and the relationship meets our expectations. In that phase, we feel that these bonds of love will last forever, and yet at times, we find it difficult to get ourselves to find the love and care for someone whom we so deeply cared for at some point. It is then we realise that our love, even though genuine, was conditional. When our ego and emotions got hurt, they eclipsed the love we were so ready to otherwise express.

Does it mean that people can take us for granted, break promises, behave badly and there should be no consequences? The answer lies in understanding the love of a mother. Even though she rejects the child’s behavior, corrects him and even expresses her annoyance, not for a moment does she lose the love within. Her love is unconditional.

When we reflect on this, we will realise that love and ego cannot co-exist, because true love is the light and warmth in which ego dissolves. To love, not because of, but sometimes in spite of, is the only way to express and experience love.

It takes a lot to rise above our hurt and anger. It takes a lot to let go of the past. It takes a lot to forgive when we have been wronged. And the only way we will know that we are not victims of circumstances but masters of our life is when we find ourselves learning to love even when things are not going right.

I am reminded of something very powerful I had heard – ‘Love me the most when I deserve it the least, because that’s when I need it the most.’

(Picture – Sunflowers in my office)