I first met Letlapa and Ginn Fourie in 2012 at the international IofC dialogue – Making Democracy Real. I once again met Letlapa a few days ago in Panchgani at an international IofC event. Hearing him share their true story once again stirred me.

In 1993 Lyndi Fourie was killed in the Heidelberg Tavern Massacre in Cape Town, aged 23. Nine years later, her mother Ginn Fourie heard the radio interview of the man who had ordered the attack – Letlapa Mphahlele, former Director of Operations of the APLA, the military wing of the Pan Africanist Congress (PAC). With a sense of anger and righteous indignation, Ginn Fourie went to his book launch and met face-to-face with the man who had masterminded the blast that had killed her daughter.

During the event, she asked him whether he was trivialising the Truth and Reconciliation Commission process by not taking part in it. Letlapa said in his view APLA was fighting a just war. And why, he asked, while his soldiers were being held in prison, had the apartheid defence forces been spared? At that meeting, Letlapa came up to the podium and said, ‘I’ll do anything if you meet me this week.’ Ginn says that day she saw remorse in his eyes.

That October Leltapa invited her to his homecoming ceremony and asked her to make a speech. It was there that she was able to apologize to his people for the shame and humiliation which her white ancestors had brought on them through slavery, colonialism and apartheid.

The building of the bridge between a mother and the man who had given the orders that killed her daughter, started a deep relationship, first dealing with their own emotions and then one of forgiveness and reconciliation. Since then they have been working together to further conciliation in South Africa through the Lyndie Fourie Foundation.

Meeting Letlapa a few days ago made me realise that no matter how difficult the situation, we have an immense capacity to rise above it. When someone forgives, it unleashes power and sheer will of doing the right thing. In a conversation, he said a very interesting thing – ‘forgiveness is only part of the process. Real conciliation happens when the other person accepts the forgiveness.’

On my drive back from Panchgani I was reflecting on just one question – if Letlapa and Ginn Fourie have lived the story that they have, what is stopping me from letting go of things that prevent me from moving on ?

(Picture – Initiatives of Change – IofC centre in Panchgani)