If we are not careful and aware, we can easily slip into doing things only as a sense of duty which we may have earlier been doing out of love. When love reduces for something or someone, we may not have a problem on the face of it, but only we will know that internally our attitude and approach have changed. Even as we continue fulfilling our responsibilities, we get a sense of internal dissatisfaction and something missing. What is missing is love, and recognising this will help us rekindle it.

When we don’t look forward to something, but at the same time don’t mind doing it, that is a feeling that we have to do something rather than wanting to do it. In that situation we know we are acting from a sense of duty rather than love.

Sometimes we carry silent anger and emotional baggage we have not been able to resolve. In such a state we do things because we don’t want to be in the wrong and we continue doing what is expected of us, as a sense of duty, but truly our heart is not in it.

Often we find ourselves in a situation where we find it difficult to say no. We feel obliged and dutiful towards doing what is asked, but we lack the love and enthusiasm in doing it.

There are several things we feel are only meant to be done as a duty and there’s nothing beyond that. When we change our perspective, we will discover that even the most mundane and routine task can have a higher purpose and hidden potential which we may not have discovered. And when we discover that, we discover the spark of love, even though we continue doing the same things.

One may well ask, is it not enough to fulfill our duty? Of course we must, but we need to recognise the difference between just doing our duty and living with love. When we act with a sense of duty, we get equanimity, but when we act with love we get joy. Doing our duty helps achieve a goal, acting with love helps create impact. Duty helps us complete a task, love helps us touch a heart. Sometimes this subtle difference escapes our conscious awareness. We understand this when we reflect on why a mother’s cooking tastes better than outside bought food, even with the same ingredients. She doesn’t just cook as a duty, she cooks with love.

When we find ourselves going through the motions, feeling okay about a job done but not feeling the real enthusiasm and joy within, we need to pause and ask ourselves the question to which only we have the answer – are we doing it out of duty or out of love?

(Picture-sunset in Alibaug)