There are two ways of looking at what happened in our lives. We can look out of the window and see who is responsible, or we can look into the mirror and be honest with ourselves. Being aware of our mindset and how we react in situations can significantly help us make the changes we may well need in ourselves and in our relationships with others.

When things don’t go as we had expected, it is easy to externalise the blame and hold people and circumstances responsible. It is possible that factors may have well been out of our control, but we need to look into the mirror and honestly assess whether we had done our best under the circumstances.

When relationships get soured, it is easy to look out of the window and find all the reasons why the other person was at fault and how we have been wronged. Even though our feelings may be legitimate, we need to look into the mirror and be honest about our own actions and behaviour in the relationship.

When others are doing better than us, it is easy to look out of the window at their success and allow the feeling of jealousy to creep in if we are not careful. Even as we are happy for others, we need to look into the mirror and not only examine traces of discontentment with our own life that may have crept in, but also feel gratitude for things that are in place for us.

When we find discord in close relationships, it is easy to look out of the window and come to the conclusion that even people we care for often don’t understand us and are being difficult. But we need to look into the mirror and see how flexible and understanding we ourselves have been or not.

When we feel low, it is easy to look out of the window and find our source of happiness. No doubt things do give us a sense of feel good, but we equally need to look into the mirror and find out for ourselves as to why we are unable to tap into the infinite source of joy within when we feel low.

And as much as the mirror reflects what we need to see in our moment of honesty, we need to be very careful when things in life go better than expected for us. That is the time to avoid looking in the mirror with ego and arrogance taking credit for the way things played out and is the right time to look out of the window with gratitude and humility for all those who made our success possible.

The way we use the mirror and window in our life will not only help reflect the beauty we have within, but will also open the window of our heart and mind in fostering deep meaningful relationships with others, and most importantly with ourselves.

(Picture-Asia Plateau, the Initiatives of Change – IofC centre in Panchgani)