We may not realise it but often we may be ‘virtue signalling’, a term I was recently introduced to by my son who thought I was doing it during our conversation over dinner. Virtue signalling is saying something with the intent of making oneself look good in the eyes of others. It could be mentioning things that we do, or don’t do, in a manner that brings out the virtues we live with.

The true test of whether we are virtue-signalling lies not so much in what we say, but more importantly why we say something. If we are honest in our reflection and find we say things not to make a point but actually to look good, we may uncover emotions we ourselves may be unaware of.

Virtue signalling comes from a sense of ego. The need to feed the ‘I’ do this and ‘I’ don’t do this.

It comes from the need for validation and appreciation. The subtle mentioning of our habits with a view of wanting to be recognised and appreciated.

It sometimes comes from being judgemental. Rather than discuss a point or an issue, we subtly bring in how we would behave in that situation and delicately try and establish that we may be better than others.

It comes from wanting the world to know. Often we live with values that we see being admired in others but people around us may not have acknowledged the same in us. Subconsciously, the moment we find an opportunity, we signal that we too live with those values.

It comes from seeking credibility by weaving our preferences in a casual conversation, but with an intent to create an impression.

All the things we say about ourselves may well be true, but it is the need to constantly signal to the world that that’s the way we are is what we need to be careful about. When we virtue signal, we make it less about the issue and more about ourselves.

And when people come up to us, surprising us with their appreciation of some of the things we do, that is when we will know that it was not our positioning, but our authentic behaviour that sent out the right signals. In that moment we will realise that if we are true to ourselves, we don’t need to signal, for our virtues will speak for themselves.

(Picture-Remains of the Cathedral, St.Andrews, Scotland)