We can never get everything right all the time. There will be times we will make mistakes and bad decisions. Sometimes, things may go horribly wrong in spite of our best judgement. It happens to everyone. We need to learn from our experiences, but also need to be very careful that we are not too hard on ourselves.

Of course we must act in a responsible manner and be open to holding ourselves accountable, but if we are too hard on ourselves, we start living with guilt and regret that compromises our ability to make amends and bounce back.

When we are too hard on ourselves in what we perceive as failure, we run the risk of becoming egoistic when things work out favourably. The ‘I did it’ factor becomes our subconscious way of living which we need to guard against.

Being too had on ourselves is a sign of non-acceptance of life. It will serve us well to realise and recognise the uncertain nature of things, and the simple fact that circumstances that influence results are seldom in our control.

We find it easier to forgive others, but strangely are sometimes too hard on ourselves when we err. It is only when we realise that we too are as deserving of our own love and understanding will we be able to deal with the emotions that accompany setbacks.

We may not realise it, but being too hard on ourselves makes us want to be perfectionists, a self-imposed pressure that is not sustainable. And before we know it, this pressure makes us demand that things be aligned in only the way we want, putting pressure on our relationships.

A scientist in a laboratory learns as much from failed experiments as he does from his success. In fact, when things don’t work out, he is enthused with the newfound knowledge because each disappointment takes him closer to his final success.

This world is a laboratory and each experience is an opportunity to learn from and grow. But we will only hear the soft whispers of wisdom in our time of silence, if we have faith that there is a learning in everything that happens, and if we are not too hard on ourselves.

(Picture-Arc de Triomphe, Paris)