We often run into relationship problems. Some people are not as expressive as we may be, and often they may find it difficult to put into words what they feel and need. We tend to respond to what they say and often find things are not getting better. It is only when we learn the art of hearing what is unsaid that we are able to manage relationships with people very different than us.

We need to understand the emotion behind their words. Responding to their words can lead to a debate, addressing their feelings can bring about a resolution.

We need to be willing to change for the sake of the relationship. We may not be asked directly, but there may be a strong unsaid message for us to reflect and review the way we live our life.

We need to be able to see the underlying care and love, even in a difficult conversation. Words hurt our ego; reminding ourselves of the love, heals the relationship.

Pain and anguish are never easy to express. When someone is pained and hurting, often things come out differently than they are meant. Words can sometimes lead to assigning blame and holding each other responsible. Learning to hear the unsaid need to heal the pain brings us closer.

Silence in a relationship can speak a lot. The silence of loving space can nurture a relationship, but the uneasy silence of strained communication can be a heavy load to carry. All silence is not the same. We need to hear what the uneasy silence is saying to us.

A lot gets exchanged over time and if we are not careful, we tend to hold on to words said in the past that has affected us. Although unsaid, past hurts get expressed through current conversations. Words can give someone momentary comfort, but it is only when we change our behaviour and actions do we truly mend things. And in our time of reflection, it is not what we have heard that we need to work on. Sometimes the answer lies in our ability to hear what was unsaid.

(Picture – Setting sun in Lonavala)