It’s not just our words but our tone that matters as well. Many times how we say something matters a lot more than what we say. We may not realise it, but our tone conveys our feelings. Most problems arise when we justify and focus on what we said and are surprised why our words had a contrary effect. On the other hand, the other person is focusing on how we said it and is dealing with their feelings.

When we operate from our ego, we subtly communicate the arrogance and pride of our achievements.

When we are angry but don’t show it externally, we lose the warmth in what we say and our words land cold and hard.

When we seem to be agreeing but do it in the most uncaring manner, we convey our displeasure and frustration.

When we want to hurt someone, we may say what seems harmless, but our words get wrapped in the sarcasm we convey.

When we are too eager to please and always agreeable to everything, our words lack genuineness and honesty.

When we talk down to someone, not only do they feel disrespected, we bare our own insecurity when we use our position as a crutch.

When we don’t pay attention and show little interest, even though what we say may not be wrong, our indifference and sometimes impatience conveys our lack of care and self-importance.

But when we have the best interest of the relationship at heart, we will be able to disagree without being hurtful. We learn to focus on what is right, not who is right. And when we find our security within, our humility and simplicity will speak louder than our arrogance and ego.

The simplest things said with genuine love and care can fill someone with joy. We don’t have to always worry about saying things in the right way. When we care deeply enough, our tone will take care of itself.