A sharp temper not only hurts us but others around us as well. It fuels a sharp tongue, and often we come to regret things said in a rage for years to come. We know ourselves and our temper, but how deeply have we reflected on where this comes from?
Our temper comes from our ego; when we believe things should be the way we want and the slightest opposition or criticism ignites a rage in us. Temper betrays the insecurity in us, our inability to handle differences.
It comes from arrogance. Our sense of superiority makes us fragile and the slightest fall from our position of strength shatters our inner composure, expressing as temper.
Impatience and temper are best friends. Our inability to give circumstances and people time and space makes us irritable and sharp in our reaction.
Temper is the product of our mental indigestion. When we do not pause to create a space between what has happened and our response, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to correctly and adequately face life. Our inability to process events and our emotions around them manifests as temper.
Our temper is a sign of our ignorance. Few things veil our discrimination as a temper does. We forget the basics of who we truly are and the way we need to relate to the world.
Temper and weakness are two sides of the same coin. When we display our temper to assert ourselves and demonstrate strength, we are, in fact, borrowing from our position to cover up our weakness.
Expectations lead to having a temper. It is strange that on one hand, we profess to love someone and yet we subject that person to our temper. We justify it as caring enough to get upset. We are fooling ourselves. We get upset because our expectations were not met. Temper breeds when we put ourselves before the other person.
Our temper can harden us. The toughest steel becomes molten in fire. When we ignite the fire of knowledge and understanding, we will see our temper rising, but as an unwanted guest, we will find the awareness to stop it at the door, giving it no place to live in our mental world.
When we replace our temper with patience, understanding, and reflection, we have found a way to temper our temper.
Thanks once again for this nice reflection and sharing your wisdom. I learn and get inspired whenever I read something like this. It helps me to be a better person today than yesterday. Thank you.
Very helpful Vivek, thanks. Understanding where bad temper comes from is important and elusive. I would add to your insights that it actually becomes a bad habit that you can feel powerless to control in yourself. After 70 years I am only just beginning to identify when it is triggered and quite literally and physically shake it off before it takes hold.