We often wonder why we go through some difficult and painful experiences in life. It’s not that we have harmed anyone or done anything terrible. In fact, when we review our life, we may well believe we are good and don’t deserve the challenges life throws at us.

Yesterday a friend of mine beautifully put this in perspective. She said, ‘sometimes in life you have to go through an experience just to understand life and yourself more fully’.  Her perspective made me reflect on why we go through some experiences in life.

Experiences come as a teacher. When we have a lesson to learn for our own growth and development, we need to go through experiences we can gain insights from.

They come as opportunities. Often we are reluctant to change the course of our life, which in hindsight we realise we needed to. Experiences push us in a direction much needed for us.

They came to shape us. Even as we sometimes go through tough times, if we take it in the right spirit and recognise the hidden advantages, experiences can smoothen our rough edges and shape our character.

They come as catalysts. Some experiences trigger a sense of purpose in us, putting us on a path in life, making our journey meaningful and enjoyable.

They come as a test. Experiences of well-being and prosperity test our humility and gratitude. We realise how grounded we are, or not. And tough experiences test our resilience, making us realise how tough we are or not.

They come as a mirror. We start seeing ourselves better and recognise things about ourselves, so far hidden from our own awareness.

An experience is an event. We give it the colour of desirable or difficult. It’s true some experiences can be very challenging to go through, but they are events nevertheless. If we develop the ability to treat an experience as an intervention in our life that has come for our own growth, we can turn our ‘misery’ into an opportunity.

Fire purifies gold. A stone polishes diamonds. A furnace tempers steel. Experiences come in our life to make us what we are meant to be.

(Picture-Ski slopes of Whistler, British Columbia)