Our life is full of relationships that we carry with people, groups, organisations, and families. Every new relationship starts off on a happy note and we always look forward to it lasting long. However, sometimes we may find ourselves feeling trapped in a relationship.

It is a very unsettling feeling of not being happy in the relationship and not being able to see a way out of it either. It is important to understand how we reached there if we need to find a way out of the situation.

When people say one thing but start behaving differently having won our trust, we will find ourselves feeling trapped. We had a business associate who would speak very politely but back out of every commitment he gave. After a few years, we started feeling like we were being taken for granted but couldn’t find an easy way out without losing money. It took us two years of carefully maneuvering through the relationship before exiting it.

When we are not accepted for who we are and we try very hard to fit in, we will start feeling trapped. It may not be easy for us to leave the system and yet we know we are not being truly accepted.

When the principles on which the relationship was based starts changing, especially if we are vulnerable and have a weaker position, we feel trapped. When we see trust, respect, and the win-win attitude changing, we can be rest assured we will find ourselves in a sticky situation.

Sometimes people change or just start becoming controlling. And when we have given much to a relationship we feel trapped because we don’t know how to start afresh and staying in the relationship is becoming difficult.

When the expectations from us start increasing and we find that it is getting beyond a level of comfort, especially with people we consider close to us, we feel trapped.

It is well possible that all our relationships are happy, or it is possible we could be experiencing this discomfort and may not have realised what it is. In either case, we need to be mindful of three things.

When we get into a relationship and start making it an integral part of our life, values must be aligned.

When we hear the right things but experience contrary behaviour, we need to call it out well before it becomes a challenge. Living in denial is getting ourselves wilfully trapped.

But most importantly, when we build a strong relationship with ourselves, we will find the ability to manage uncertainties in our relationships.

No doubt relationships give us security. But let our primary source of security be within. We will then discover that our inner security gives us freedom which no relationship can trap.