Friction is a force that resists the relative motion of something, preventing things from being seamless and easy flowing. Not just physical objects, but relationships, systems, and even our own internal makeup can have friction.

Lack of friction in relationships does not mean the absence of disagreements. Nor do things always have to be the way we want. It is the absence of the negative resisting force which prevents us from nurturing relationships, maximising our potential and growing as a person.

Lack of trust causes friction. Not only do we lose out on the full potential of others we work with, we constantly operate with a paradigm of fear, blocking our own creativity and innovation. In our personal life when we give someone the feeling that they are not good enough and we don’t trust their capabilities, we build invisible barriers that prevents the other from giving their best.

Ego causes friction. When the ‘I’ in me becomes larger than the ‘we’ in us, our self-centredness becomes the negative force that resists the smooth flow of affection.

Narrow mindedness causes friction. Not all traditional ways of thinking and living are wrong. At the same time, we need to understand, accept and respect a new and different way as well. When we don’t change, others from a different generation or culture find it very difficult to get through, in spite of being fond of us.

A life where there are frictions, is not a joyful life, even if we have much. We know this from experience and yet sometimes we are left confused. Not expressing our true feeling leaves us bitter, and sharp disagreements leave us unhappy.

The answer lies in managing our relationships with respect and acceptance. People close to us know that we love them, yet we find something amiss in the relationship. What they seek from us is respect and acceptance.

Respect for them as equal. Respecting their thoughts and points of view. Respecting that just because their way of doing something is different, it need not be disregarded without consideration. And accepting them for the way they are, not the way we want them to be.

When we create the environment of love, joy, respect and acceptance in our homes and workplace, when sparks fly, it is not the sparks of negative friction. It the polishing of our rough edges, to enable the best in us to shine through.

(Picture – Apple tree in Schotten, Germany)