Our ability and willingness to listen to others comes not only from respect for them but also from the humility that we don’t know everything.
Sometimes we form judgements in our minds as to who is worth listening to and are dismissive of others. We must be mindful that our dismissive nature can hurt someone who may not be as sharp as we are. To listen is to care.
Sometimes strong opposition troubles us and we avoid conversations and stop listening to the counter point. This not only robs us the chance of getting a better understanding, but we lose a chance of giving the other a different perspective. To listen is to grow.
People close to us may have a need to be heard. To be aware and sensitive to that need builds the capacity in us to be available. We may be mistaken in feeling that it’s a waste of our time whereas it could be the most important time for someone to have our attention. To listen is to nurture.
Not everyone is as quick in putting across their point. Sometimes they need to express themselves in their own way which may be different from ours. Our impatience puts pressure and prevents them from fully expressing themselves. These unfulfilled conversations start creating distances as many people stop coming to us and sharing what’s on their mind because we don’t have the patience. Listening builds bonds.
Strong relationships are built on open and honest conversations. But it’s only when someone listens to us without judgement will we find the courage to be open and honest. To listen is to love.
Discussions are not debates to be won. If we walk away with even one new fact or perspective, we’ve grown. And every conversation allows us that. But very often we stop listening and are thinking of a quick response even as the other is speaking, to score a point. To listen is to develop.
We must develop the art of listening. Deeply and honestly, starting with Listening to our inner voice.
Deep listening sometimes helps the other change their story of the past and in doing so change their present..I have also found there is a risk of it changing us…if we let what we are listening to touch us…and so it is an act of vulnerability.
Just the right article I got this morning.. I have been trying to inculcate the habit of listening for the longest time. I have a bad habit of interrupting the other person in between and the flow of speech gets broken. Now I understand more after reading this article the importance of listening. Thank you Vivek.
I’m glad this has been helpful Manjeet !
So well articulated! Vivek, on the table in my consulting room is a gadget. The side facing the parents says ‘SPEAK’. to let them share all their fears and anxieties. The side facing me says, ‘LISTEN’ – to listen with empathy and to avoid interrupting them until they finish saying what is in their heart. Many parents, and even some of the teenagers have told me, that they prefer coming to me because I ‘listen’.