I recently attended a talk by Dr.Robert Waldinger, professor at Harvard Medical School, who spoke on the Circle of Happiness. In his talk he made a very interesting observation, a thought that stayed with me – ‘we measure our inside by other people’s outside.’ It is so true that often we compare the apparent external well-being of others by our actual well-being within. As true as this is, it is worth reflecting on why we not only need to be mindful of this trait, but we need to also overcome this tendency for our own well-being.

Life is not a race to be won, but an experience to be lived. Of course we must do well for ourselves, and we need to be aware of people and things around us. We must observe and learn from others, and when we find someone doing better than us, let us measure our happiness in their happiness and our inspiration in their success.

Life is not a podium to stand on and gloat, but a journey to be travelled together. Often we may find others struggling for things that may well be in place for us, materially and emotionally. Let what we see touch our heart, and when we see someone not as fortunate as us, let us measure our empathy in reaching out, and our gratitude in our time of silence.

Life is not always what it seems, and often we need to see the pain behind someone’s smile. No one has a perfect life, even though from the outside it may seem near perfect. When we share our own life with others, they find a safe space to open up to us. Let us be the comfort for others, and when we realise what they may be dealing with, let us measure our compassion and friendship in being there for them.

Our self-worth should never be a function of someone else’s net worth, just as someone else’s challenges should not be the cause for us feeling superior. Our source of compassion, confidence and joy is within, and once we understand, experience and realise this, we will realise the futility of measuring our inside by other people’s outside.

(Picture – Promenade in Geneva)