Being there for others in their hour of need can mean much to them. Not only is it important for us to assess the best we can do for them, but we also need to be careful and mindful as to what it takes to effectively play that role. If we are not careful, the pain, stress, and emotional upheavals of others can soon become our own, severely impacting us. To be truly empathetic and supportive, we need to first learn to be objective.

Empathy comes from a deep space of care and concern. While giving this care, there is a high chance of us getting impacted and affected by what is going on in their lives. It would serve us well to better understand our role and the best way to play it for those around us.

No matter how close we are to the person, we need to create a distance when making ourselves available. We don’t move away from the person, but we create a distance from the issue on hand to allow ourselves to view the situation objectively and gain perspective. Being with them and yet distancing ourselves from the situation helps us play our role.

Sometimes people are meant to go through a situation for their own growth. Much as we feel their pain and challenge, we need to realise that the learning is theirs and therefore the situation is theirs. Living with this knowledge and acceptance while offering our fellowship and support helps us play our role.

We understand this, and yet we wonder how can it be possible not to get affected when someone dear to us is going through a tough situation. It is true this is difficult, we are all human and often their pain becomes ours. And yet we need to learn to be unaffected even as we are involved just like a movie screen. The screen supports several movies, with all types of happy and sad situations. While watching the movie, we cannot differentiate the screen from the movie, and yet no matter what the tragedy on screen, the screen itself is never affected. Even as the movie progresses, the screen remains unchanged.

There are many who are dependent on us and who will reach out. They are depending on us being stable and strong to support them through the drama in their life. But we can only do that effectively if we have anchored ourselves in our equanimity and objectivity and have ensured that the line between our empathy and emotionalism doesn’t get blurred. The screen needs to be careful that it itself doesn’t get burned by the fire in the movie it is supporting.

(Picture- Kitsilano beach, Vancouver)