We cannot please everybody all the time. Much as we live to give joy to others and would like to be there as much as we can, we too have our physical and emotional limitations. The pressure of saying yes is always there, but living effectively and building strong relationships is as much dependent on our ability to say no.
Saying no does not mean that we are shying away from our responsibility or don’t care. Nor does it necessarily mean that we value someone less. It is just an honest assessment of where we are at that point in our life. Being happy is as much about learning to say no, as it is about deciding to do things.
When we find ourselves overburdened with responsibilities, we need to say no to new demands on our time and attention. It is not that we don’t want to offer ourselves, but making ourselves available to others when we are stretched, usually ends up in taking away time from family and people we care for. Learning to say no helps maintain and strengthen our primary relationships.
We live by a value system. The world keeps tempting us with attractions and distractions, often contrary to what we know better. At times it gets very difficult to say no when the mind is getting pulled away, and often we have regretted our decision. Learning to say no protects and strengthens the conviction within.
People expect much from us. Of course, we need to be mindful and sensitive to their needs and expectations, but when we start feeling uncomfortable, our willingness to conform starts eating into our inner peace and harmony. Finding the courage to say no when it absolutely goes against our grain wins us respect and acceptance from others.
As we traverse the journey of life, we will realise that there are trade-offs we sometimes need to make. We risk hurting people, letting them down, and sometimes being misunderstood. But the need for being perceived well by everyone all the time can cloud our judgment. The fear of what others may think makes us say yes when we want to say no.
And when we start feeling comfortable and confident in making those trade-offs, we will realise a simple truth – some of our best decisions were not necessarily what we decided to do, but were those we decided not to do because we had developed the important ability to say no.
(Picture – Bougainvillea in our garden )
🙏 Vivek True enlightenment!
Its even harder to say no to ones own self.. but I guess like with many worthwhile pursuits that grow us, the start has to be from within !