We often get surprised and even hurt, not only because people behave contrary to our expectations, but often because we fail to recognise people for what they are. Our emotions get in the way of our objectivity, leaving us vulnerable and sometimes learning our lesson the hard way.
We carry an emotional bond with people we have known for a long time. This bond creates a filter, and even when people have changed, we find it difficult to view them the way they are, but continue viewing them the way we remember them and want them to be.
Our objectivity gets compromised because we can’t get ourselves to accept that someone we know so well could behave so differently. At some level, recognising them for what they are, could weaken and maybe even change our relationship, something we may not be ready to accept.
When we trust someone, we accept their words at face value. Yet, when their behaviour is contrary to their commitment, even though we see it and are sometimes at the receiving end, we still fail to recognise them for what they truly are.
Sometimes we keep giving the benefit of doubt, always assuming that what we are seeing could well be a one-off. Of course, we need to be accomodating, after all, we are all human and prone to our share of erratic behaviour. But when our benefit of doubt becomes a veil of denial, refusing to see the way someone has become, we veil our objectivity.
And when we start becoming more objective in assessing people on their behaviour rather than their words or our earlier impressions, we will realise that there may well be several people who have changed over the years, and the unfavourable impression we carry may no longer be true. When we recognise people for what they are, we won’t lose out on enriching relationships.
Learning to recognise people for what they are is not about becoming cynical or losing trust. It is only allowing ourselves to sharpen our objectivity when the emotional bonding is strong. And this objectivity, in fact, not only prevents us from getting hurt but better prepares us to navigate some relationships which could well be the best for both. Recognising people for what they are is not about losing a relationship; it is about gaining the vision to honestly view things as they are.
And when we learn to recognise people for what they are, we will slowly discover a truth we may have buried deep down – if we need to change, we need to be completely honest and also recognise ourselves for what we truly are.
(Picture-Kala Ghoda festival, Mumbai)
Deep ! Ot helps enormously to see inner challenges verbalised, recognised for what they are and so clearly verbalised. Life experiences are to grow from and growth is change of a positive kind, whether the experience was positive or not . Surely we all must change for the better.
Most valuable are the
Thanks you Vivek💕