One of the toughest decisions in a conflict, negotiation, and settlement is knowing when to continue holding onto our position to get what we want, and knowing when to settle and move on. Each situation is different and merits its own evaluation, but the principles that guide us can be applied each time we find ourselves in a difficult situation.

We start off having a point of view based on a principle we believe to be correct. As discussions progress, a lot of emotions and the past enter the picture and if we are not careful, we may well find ourselves protecting our ego rather than the principle we started with. When our ego becomes our filter, it is time to move on.

We evaluate situations based on what we will lose if we give in and compromise. We often forget the value of our time, future opportunities, and peace of mind, with which we can more than compensate and build a better life for ourselves. When we ask ourselves the fundamental question – ‘is it worth it?’ and realise that we are losing more by getting stuck, we know it is time to move on.

We may discuss in good faith, and yet we may be faced with negativity, hostility, and bad faith. It is but natural for our anger to become our filter through which we view things, and we may well be justified. But anger, even when justified, is anger nonetheless and clouds our judgement. When the thought of getting back and teaching someone a lesson enters our thinking, we know it is time to move on.

Sometimes to break a deadlock, if we have to give in and compromise, it is not a weakness. It comes from a deep sense of faith that if we are doing the right thing, life will take care of us, even though we may not have all the answers today. When we look back on life, we will realise that we enriched ourselves, not by getting stuck in our ego, anger and negativity, but by knowing when to move on.

(Picture-Inside of Taj palace, Mumbai)