Our self-image is so important to us. The way we are perceived by the world matters and we live our lives protecting our image, often shielding our faults and displaying our better side. It is understandable that people look at us favourably, even as we work on ourselves internally. The problems start when our self-image becomes the basis of our security and happiness.

It makes us fragile. We find it difficult to accept any criticism that comes our way. We become so sensitive about our self-image that we often lose the learning in the criticism which may well help us develop and grow.

It makes us insecure. We don’t realise it, but we shift the centre of our security from our own inner being to the way we are perceived. People quickly recognise this about us and we risk being manipulated if we are not careful.

Our behaviour flows from wanting to create a good image, rather than from our beliefs and values. Our need for acceptance overshadows our conviction to live with authenticity. This often leaves us with a feeling of discontent, knowing that we are not being true to ourselves.

We find it difficult to let go when we ourselves make a mistake. Our self-image becomes so important that we stop giving even ourselves the space to accept, reflect and change. Our anger and ego overshadow our better judgement.

The way the world perceives us is no doubt important, but it cannot become the goal and purpose of our life. Just as a wheel rotates around its own centre, we too need to be centred within to be able to manage the ups and downs of the external world. But if the centre of our security is the opinion of others, we lose the ability to be strong, stable and secure. A wheel without a changeless centre soon breaks.

We all have our faults; no one is perfect. People around us know that about us, but what attracts them to us is our genuineness. When they see us being true to ourselves, they themselves find the comfort of being themselves in our presence, building a strong bond of trust, love and friendship.

We work very hard on protecting our self-image to gain acceptance. We will be well-served if we remember a simple fact of life – people will accept us when we find the courage, and first learn to accept ourselves.

(Picture-Butchart garden, Victoria – Canada)