Blame often gets externalised. There are times when things go wrong in our lives and we look to assign the blame on someone. Our anger and frustration veils our judgement and ability to be objective and see things for what they are. We feel justified, but in reality, we live in denial when we start externalising blame.

Externalising blame comes from our inability to take responsibility for our actions. Our ego and self-image trick us into covering up our own shortcomings by deflecting blame elsewhere.

When we hurt deeply, we find the need to pin the blame somewhere to legitimise our hurt. And if we find a secondary cause for our hurt, we often overlook the primary cause that caused the situation in our life.

Sometimes we refuse to accept that someone whom we love and respect, and in whom our security is rooted, could be responsible for the situation we find ourselves in. We often externalise blame because somewhere within we feel we are protecting them in our own way.

And sometimes we find ourselves at the receiving end, blame getting externalised towards us. Our instinctive response is to get defensive and reject the accusation. But the principle of being honest demands that we learn to be completely objective, not only when we hold someone else responsible, but that we hold ourselves to the same standard.

In a complex world where often there are misunderstandings, contrary outcomes coming out of well-meaning intentions, and finding scapegoats to protect egos and reputations, people unfortunately move away from what is right, to, who is right. The only way we can protect ourselves from externalising blame is by internalising responsibility and honesty.

We need to look into the mirror before we look out of the window.

(Picture-Jones Lake, British Columbia, Canada)