We sometimes find ourselves embroiled in a dispute. More often than not emotions get entangled with the principle of equity and fairness. As time progresses, we find that we have moved very far apart from the people with whom we need to settle issues. And when closure finally happens, we realise that what has taken years, could well have been done in a few weeks.

Trust breaks down when we are presented with options that we believe may not be in our favour. We often forget that others too are struggling in unchartered waters and may present things in a manner which creates doubt in our minds. The ability to maintain trust in the midst of differences helps resolve issues.

Our ego can be the biggest stumbling block in resolving things. Our hurt and anger create barriers. When we stop talking, we stop moving ahead. Solutions cannot be built when communication breaks down. Reaching out and always being open to engaging in finding a way forward helps resolve issues.

Emotions cloud our judgement. We run the risk of reacting to the words and tone rather than the issue. And when our own words and tone are sharp and hurt others, one thing leads to another in a downward spiral. Maintaining respect even during sharp differences helps resolve issues.

If we are not careful and honest with ourselves, self-interest can replace a win-win paradigm. Of course we need to protect our interest, but our ability to also consider the interest of others can help resolve issues.

As time progresses, we harden our stand. We forget that the final solution may well be something neither side started with. Being firm does not mean we become inflexible. Our willingness and ability to explore options with the honest intention of getting closure helps resolve issues.

Not every interaction needs to be a negotiation. When we approach the dispute with an attitude of understanding and also being understood, we break invisible and non-existent barriers and misunderstandings. Discussing rather than negotiating helps resolve issues.

Our ability and willingness to listen can be our most powerful asset. We need to strengthen our faith in being guided in our times of silence and find the courage to do what we know is right. Disputes that seem impossible to resolve can have breakthroughs when we learn to listen to our inner voice.

(Pic-Amalfi coast, Italy)