People close to us are the ones we probably need to make the most adjustments with. It doesn’t mean there is a problem or we are unhappy. Each one of us as individuals has our own preferences and way of doing things. We often forget that if we are not mindful, preferences can create differences. Making adjustments is respecting someone else’s preferences without friction.
It’s only when we ourselves are secure within, will we find it easy to adjust. Many times it is not the other, but our own fears and insecurities that create tension in what can well be loving and enjoyable relationships.
Adjustment needs acceptance. When we stop fighting the fact that someone is different, we find it easy to adjust. Being different does not mean they are wrong. They just prefer doing things differently than the way we would.
It needs understanding. We often forget that others may have been through a very different upbringing and set of circumstances. When we learn to see the background behind the behaviour, our anger turns to empathy.
It needs humility; our ability to accept that things don’t always have to be ‘my way’. Ego breaks relationships, giving space brings us closer to people.
It needs care and support. People will make mistakes. But that is not the time to be harsh on them and say – ‘I told you so’. They realise where they could have done things differently. Each one of us is on a learning curve. Adjusting our own life and walking alongside someone on their journey, is true adjustment.
Adjustments can only be built with trust and patience. There will be times our concern may turn out to be true. We all need time to change. Allowing space in a relationship for mistakes to be made, and having the patience for people to change strengthens the relationship.
And we must be mindful that making an adjustment is not compromising in life. It is aligning ourselves in a relationship to bring out the best in both. In fact, we grow when we learn to adjust. When the teeth of the two gears are aligned with each other, the machine runs smoothly. Neither gear has given up its individuality. Each has intelligently aligned to the other in a harmonious relationship.
Our ability to accept and adapt to the people in life without losing our individuality builds enduring relationships. We will only be able to do that when we take an honest look at ourselves and make the inner adjustments we know we need to make.
(Pic-Our pet dog with his friendly visitor)
This is so true…this post has come to me at the right time.. We must keep our egos and pride aside and let love and respect be above it. We need to keep reminding ourselves again and again ..thank you Vivek for these sweet sermons and reminders.