We often get upset, it is natural. But just because it’s natural, doesn’t make it desirable. Every time we have been upset, neither have we enjoyed it, nor the feeling post that. It does not matter what happened to make us upset. What’s important is understanding what happened internally that our composure was shattered.

We live with lots of expectations, of the world and ourselves. We want people to perform and behave the way we think right. We get upset when our expectations are not met.

We know we are capable of much. And sometimes we get too hard on ourselves when we let our guard down and know we are capable of much better. Falling short of our own standards upsets us.

Many of us carry close relationships with multiple generations. Sometimes we just cannot understand why they fail to see things the way we do. Interestingly, they too probably wonder why we are not seeing things their way. The world calls it generation gap. A gap that exists because of our closed minds and fixed ideas. It doesn’t mean we are wrong. We just need to learn to be open and communicative.

We love our children but sometimes, without realising, we hold them to a standard they struggle with. And when our children don’t do as well as they should, they don’t need another lecture on the virtue of hard work and stories of our own achievements. They need to be nurtured through a struggle in their life. It’s no different with our colleagues at work.

When we carry a large ego, we tend to take things personally. The smallest comment or incident can upset us. We forget to see the context or give benefit of the doubt, because our anger has clouded our judgement and we cannot go beyond our own hurt.

And in a calmer frame of mind, if we reflect on what did we achieve by getting upset, we suddenly realise it was useless. In fact, we lost the very thing we are living for – happiness and peace of mind. Things will happen that can potentially be upsetting. When we learn to take a deep breath and remember to ask the simple question ‘Now What?’, we redirect our negative energy to finding a way out.

And when we reach out to others who are upset and help share their burden, we will be better prepared the next time something comes along, wanting to upset us.

(Picture-Lake District, England)