Disappointments are part of life. At some point we have all felt disappointed with events, people and ourselves. They have their root in two things – ego and expectations, in their classic manifestation as I and I-want.

When our expectations are not met we are disappointed. But we forget that events play out in a manner beyond our control, and things will not always go the way we want them to. Allowing ourselves to be disappointed makes us vulnerable to the highs and lows of life, unhealthy for our mental well-being.

People can be unpredictable even if we have known them all our life. And we never know what is going on in their minds and why they behave contrary to our expectations. To get disappointed is to allow others control our happiness, once again making us vulnerable.

And often we are very tough with ourselves when we make mistakes and say we are disappointed with ourselves. This is nothing but a manifestation of our ego which says – ‘How could “I” have made such a mistake.’ We forget we are as human as anyone and are deserving of our own love.

But then how does one live without expectations. It is natural to have expectations based on our plans and experience. We work to an expectation but need to change just one thing. When expectations are not met, we replace disappointment with acceptance, reflection and action.

Once something has not happened, we accept the fact. Disappointment is the emotion around the fact which should have no place in our life. We deeply reflect on why things happened and our learning and insights. We then act upon our newfound understanding and keep moving ahead.

And we must remember a fundamental law of life. Some things are meant for someone else even though we badly want it and similarly things due to us will come our way in life. When things go our way, we must give gratitude. And when they don’t, we must give gratitude that something else is waiting for us to be discovered.

When the light of our Joy is covered by the dark cloud of disappointment, we just need the fresh wind of gratitude to clear our mind and help keep our smile, not because of, but even in spite of.